My name is Ruby

She tried to make herself as small as possible in the front row. She pulled the tattered sleeves of her sweater over the palms of her hands and hunched over her small desk. The teacher’s voice seemed far away as it rattled on about people and places long gone from this world.

Beneath a curtain of greasy dark hair, she studied the dirt under her broken fingernails. She snuck a peek across the isle. His body angled sideways, making the desk seem impossibly tiny. His fingers tapped a silent rhythm on the thigh of his jeans; his fingernails neatly trimmed, clean. She inhaled deeply and thought she could smell the scent of him, mixed with stale books and pencil shavings. She allowed her gaze to creep up.

His t-shirt fit snug enough to reveal the outline of a necklace trapped underneath. For a moment she was mesmerized by the rise and fall of that necklace riding the waves of his breath. She imagined resting her cheek on the spot where that necklace sat. She imagined what her hair would look like shiny and soft blowing in the wind. She imagined what those fingers would feel like caressing her cheek. She imagined what her name would sound like on his lips.

The drumming of his fingers stopped abruptly. They reached up and freed the necklace from the shirt. It was a fake looking shark’s tooth on a leather-like string. Her eyes snapped back to her own jagged fingernails, her cheeks blazing. She shoved her hands beneath her legs to hide them from view. Hunched over, hiding behind her veil of hair, she fought back tears, willing them not to fall even though her eyes stung.

She wondered if he knew her name at all.

The bell rang and he rose from his seat and collected his books in one smooth, graceful gesture; never looking her way. She watched his back and broad shoulders disappear through the door.

“Ruby” She whispered, “My name is Ruby.”